Speech in “Nenglish” = bad or literally translated “Flemish (even dialect) English”.

I hate you welcome. It sees here black from people, but you all see there good out. We all speaken English, I know in English, I am not there good in. Yes and then? Heu, sorry if my hair is a bit in the war.

You see... the weekend was standing before the door, I cleaned my ship and shined the plate, thinking let’s speak about myself. Maybe you are not crazy from it, thinking where is that good for? O.K. It will not take too long, you see that from here. I will give immediately from cotton, that speaks from itself, no? Here we go, hands out of the sleeves, there is work on the shop. My motorbike louds always: let the grass grow, drive it never off again.

You know, my youth was a sad story. I was so ugly I had to overgive because I pull a little bit on my father. When I was little, my olders made me believe that the christman came through the heard but we had no heard. My father was very severe, sometimes out of the nothing, he gave me a header. I know that sometimes after going out and drinking it was really there over. Then my olders said: you are too dumb to help it thunder. But fortunately later, they were going out of each other. Of course, first I scared myself a little hat, then I scared myself an accident. But it went.

Later at work I got on standing foot fired. I swear it, see self then. But I thought, I will not let it thereby, I will undertake steps. I can there not anymore against. It is but that you know it.

I also had a girlfriend, she made it out with me but it did me nothing. I found another girl. For the same money I had price. My friends said: you are good busy... But with her I also saw, there is something on the hand. I said to myself: what is me that there. She said: That mean Joe not! I know there nothing from. Where have you it over? You overdrive always. Hold another one for the joker. That hits on nothing, make that the cat wise and stop passing me the black dick through. I said: what is it now, it shall well... Do you know where I have it over? No? As long as I not get put into the sack, otherwise I would sit in sack and ash. By the way, it goes you no sack on, so from my part you can blow your sack up and ball it off. She answered: awel, there you say me what, that does the door too. I will not let myself do. I believe nothing there from. Aha, there you have nothing from back hé.

Well dear friends, you can believe: first I was there not good from, but later it started to sit moustache.

You know, I have so something from: the world is after soap, it is really running in the hundred. Like when I’m broke…, nobody will shoot me some money for.

O, is it all so late? I have lost the time out of the eye.

Hela, don’t laugh so much there, I am holding you in the holes, your cheeks will do pain of the laughen. Sorry, but I did not it express.

Hela, all of you. Please, hold up there with. What is it? Do I have something from you on maybe? Well, well, I have to do with you all, but for one time I will look it through the fingers.

But O.K., let’s eat now, have you hunger? I have sin in something. What? Is it stuffmeat with flowercoal and water from the crane?  I really don't see that sitting, let’s speak off some other time.

Met dank aan nengels.tumblr.com en Veerle V A.